Monday, November 5, 2012

Damn the Time Change!

If you couldn't tell from this post's title, I hate the time change. Strike that. I loathe the time change.

First, now that we're all on board with electricity (admittedly, the Amish aren't with us on that one, but I think majority wins on this one), the time change is completely unnecessary. You hear me time change? No one needs you. So stop messing with us and making us risk going to work at the wrong time.

Second, what about routines and circadian rhythms and dogs? Yes dogs. You see, Odin is all about his routine. His internal clock is amazingly accurate. At 6am weekdays, 7am weekends, dogs are fed and let outside. This should be followed by The Changing of The Beds - a daily ritual of great importance. The Changing of The Beds occurs when the people get out of their bed and move to another room of the house. Odin then moves from sleeping in his bed in the bedroom to sleeping in one of his other beds in another room of the house. Do not overlook the importance of this ritual. It is very important. Just ask Odin. For if the people try to stay in the bedroom it causes much angst and gnashing of teeth (read: whining).

At 1pm OTT (Odin Tummy Time), the dogs receive lunch. At 7:15pm, a dinner of the finest Iams kibble is served in gleaming* silver bowls. At 9pm, the family should start getting ready for bed. If these times are not observed, Odin gets anxious. He will repeatedly remind us of what we should be doing by whining forlornly   sitting and staring at us, and pacing, which is interrupted by throwing himself on the floor (never on one of the many dog beds, because that could be confused as getting comfortable and that's the last impression he wants to make).

Why is no one feeding me when I am clearly sitting in the kitchen and  being impatient??

*Note: the dog bowls only gleam if I have just cleaned them. And let us all be honest, that doesn't happen very often. The good news, this is not important to the dogs.

Now, let's consider how the time change influences the scheduled discussed above. Well, it totally f*cks it up! Try explaining to a dog that technically he's right, it is time to get up/eat/change beds/get ready for bed but it's not really time to do that because the clock on the wall - yes, that circular object we always look at to confirm that you're correct - it says something different today. It says you have to wait.

Commence hour long whine fest.

I imagine that this is even worse with children. However, I also imagine that children get older and eventually begin to understand. Odin is 8 1/2 and he's still not getting it.

Also, also, I have tried to incrementally move feeding times to slowly get the dogs adjusted. I have learned not to do this. It's like jumping into the pool - it's better to commit and get the discomfort out of the way all at once rather than prolong the agony and wade in slowly.

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