Wednesday, February 3, 2016

Babies and toddlers and stuff

We all know I've been gone because pregnant. 'Nuff said.

Here's the recap:
I got to throw up through week 16. That's 3 1/2 months of erping.

THEN, during week 17, my pelvis began radiating fire. It turns out that as your joints loosen, they can do so asymmetrically. Basically, the right and left sides of my pelvis were playing twister with each other. Now, I'm not one to cry uncle very often, but WOW. That hurt. It tapered off some and I have found some stretches and exercises that help a little. But that was another 2 weeks on the couch.

Man, this had better be the cutest baby ever!

So, here I am, now 25 weeks pregnant. I'm trying to work myself slowly back into some semblance of physical fitness. Cat/Cow, kegal, kegal, kegal...all you pregnant ladies know what I'm talking about.

My tummy is filled with visible baby movement. My heartburn is actually minimal (thank you Gods of stomach acid and esophageal sphincters!). And I'm starting to think about how this swelling stomach actually contains a real person!

It's so much more real the second time. You have a better idea of what to expect. For instance, every time she starts kicking I think, "and this will be a time I'll be nursing." Soon I will put together a spreadsheet and start tracking her awake patterns to determine when/if I will get to sleep once she arrives.*

*What?! If you've read this blog at all, you know I'm riding the nerd train to the end of this pregnancy...or forever. Feels like the same thing.

Then there's the toddler. Our goofy, funny, super smart toddler who is perched on the edge of toilet training. He can stay dry all day if you remind him to sit on the potty. He used to even go there himself before, for no reason anyone can fathom, he decided not to. And I'm trying to hold it together and keep up with the praise and minimize the negative even though child, you will be potty trained long before the baby comes because there will be no regression!!!  Not that I'm worried or obsessed or anything.

Other things on the to-do-list before baby arrives:
1) finish first kid's baby book
2) sleep as much as humanly possible (HAHAHhahaha, just kidding. We already have one kid, so the days of sleeping are dead)
3) try to squeeze in some date nights (we already have a sitter so we can attend the presidential caucus, so that's pretty hot)
4) teach first kid to be completely self-sufficient in the next few months

Seems doable.

Wednesday, November 4, 2015


Again with the disappearing act. I know. Soon all my blog posts will be about why I'm not posting.


But this time, I have a very good reason. You see, Internet, I have done got knocked up again.

That's right. I am growing a second baby. And this time, pregnancy is AWFUL. I have been super sick since Week 5. I'm in Week 12 right now and I am still nauseous and gaggy and Ewwww. The joys of creating life.

I'm taking DiGlegis, which does reduce the sickness some. Not enough but this medication is basically risk free for baby, so I'm sucking it up...spending a lot of quality time with my toilets. Eating SO much because, ironically, eating is the only thing that can stop the puking. Trying to force yourself to eat while nauseous is truly a test in willpower. It just seems so unfair that I'm already gaining weight while throwing up so much.

But whatevs because baby. And, thanks to the power of science, we already know that we are having a baby girl. One of each. Hit the genetic lottery.

If I don't sound more excited it's because of the gross and all the tired. Tired because pregnant. Because toddler. And, oh Irony my old friend, the side effect of the medication I am taking is fatigue. HA!

So, basically I'm sleeping, puking, and eating. I am sexy she-beast of the baby pooch and puffy eyes. Fear me because I am understandably short tempered and filled with food cravings. Also, I'm already outgrowing my clothes and I DO NOT want to wear those maternity clothes. I should have burned them, but then I would have to shop and spend money on clothes I don't like when I need to save for this second kid because holy hell, what were we thinking??

And that, Internet, is what's up.

Wednesday, September 23, 2015

I'm still alive after all

Why hello there.

I don't know what to say. I've abandoned this enterprise for quite a while. I figured no one noticed, but then I see that some of you have been checking on me. So sweet of you, Internet.

Well. I guess I owe you an explanation for my absence. Here goes.

Reason The First (this is a big one): Karma died. My rotten-dobie girl got the exact same type of bone cancer as Odin, almost exactly a year after he died. Her's was even faster growing and we had little time between her diagnosis and having to say goodbye.

I'm not going to lie. It was awful. Made more awful by having to explain it to our son who super loved his doggy friend. And we botched that. Badly.

We thought he was too young to explain what was going on. We told him Karma was going away and we wouldn't see her anymore. Then, he freaked the F out when my husband left for work. Whoops.

So when we found a dead ladybug I got a chance to make it right and explain death to my 21 month old son. I let him touch the ladybug, and we talked about how it was dead and didn't move anymore. When it broke, I told him that was okay because dead things fall apart. They aren't alive and they don't hurt anymore. Then I told him that Karma was dead...then, for months, I had to navigate his random comments about how he didn't have a dog anymore, his dog was dead.

This parenting thing. Whew.

And I couldn't write about it. It was all I could do to hold it together around my son and then cry big crocodile tears after he went to bed.

After 11 years of having a dog in the house, it was so quiet.

Reason The Second: My "real" job, as in the job I work consistently throughout the year, both when and when I am not working on my personal business, got crazy busy. Well, actually, it was already crazy busy but then an extreme workload intersected with an incompetent group of subcontractors and my day-to-day situation got all hair rippy. And I spent many hours trying to help these people while simultaneously keeping myself from screaming, "WHY CAN'T YOU JUST DO YOUR DAMN JOB?!?!?"

And that went on for several months.

Someone owes me a trophy for getting that project completed.

Reason The Third: In the midst of all the extra hours I was logging in my "real" job to keep things from exploding like a meth lab, one of my clients for my personal business contracted me to complete two major tasks on a restricted timeline. Then, just to spice things up, my only other client contacted me and begged me to squeeze a grant in for them, too.

My work life hit record levels of business.

Reason the Fourth: The weather got nice and when I wasn't working, we were exploring the great outdoors. We maintained a social life. And, when the school year ended, my husband became full-time parent while I worked like a crazy person. Our plans of spending a leisurely summer swapping parenting duties and allowing each other some free time dried up, where ground into dust, and swept away by the flurry of my fingers on the keyboard.

Poor R needed any break he could get because our precocious 2 year old (yes! that totally happened and he turned 2!!) is SO VERY 2.

I'd like to deviate from this record of events to say that while having a very verbal toddler does reduce tantrums, since he can express what he wants, it does increase the number of headaches a parent experiences. For instance, just last night this conversation happened during dinner:

Me: Please keep your hands off your head at the table.
2 yo: (look of disdain on adorable, cherubic face) They not on my head mama. My hand is on my cheek.

And that's how stress and limited time sucked away my will to blog.