Wednesday, August 29, 2012

I Got My VaJayJay Working

As you might be able to tell from the title, this is not a post for everyone. In fact, you should probably turn back now. 

You may (or may not) recall that due to 10 years of birth control, my lady parts forgot how to do their thing. As in, just when R and I decide that now is the time to procreate, my body was all ovulate? The fuck you sayin'? And I promptly stopped having my period. It was kind of like my ovaries broke up with me.*

*Full disclosure: After tossing away my birth control, I had my period for three months, like clockwork. Then, literally the month that we were going to start trying, my ovaries flipped me off and shut down, causing mass confusion. This led to much blood drawing and testing for a bajillion other possible problems because it was not a typical case of amenorrhea. My ovaries are spiteful bitches.

My body was forced through the monthly (read: once every three months) process with hormones. It was super awesome...if you really like acne, and  painfully swollen boobs and weight gain, because who doesn't want that?? 

However, after 9 months of this kind of shenanigans, I finally had my period. I've never been so happy to be cramping and using tampons.

Joking aside, if "it" hadn't happened this month my doctor was going to suggest I get on clomid. That's a fertility drug with side effects very similar to what I've been experiencing while on my hefty quarterly dose of hormones, with the added bonus of increasing your chance of dropping multiple eggs, leading to multiple babies. And of course, multiple babies come with a whole host of increased risks and stress and I'm just happy that clomid looks like it's off the table for now.

So internet, it looks like the plan for Potential Baby is back on. Feel free to assume that any internet silence on my end is due to frantic bedroom activity.

Thursday, August 23, 2012

Trials and Tribulations of Face Stuffing

So, if you've been paying attention to my ramblings lately you are aware that I've been super, mega, awesomely active. In my head, this has translated to "eat whatever you want!" The results have been disheartening.

IF I had maintained my other exercise schedule, instead of deciding that it was unnecessary because LOOK, I AM AMAZEBALLS! Then maybe I would have lost some weight in spite of the face-stuffing binge I went on. But no. Instead I ate snickers bars and drank extra beer and sat on ass when I wasn't hiking, biking, swimming, etc. because I burned all those calories. Therefore, THESE calories do not count.

It all made sense at the time. Shut up. Don't judge me.

Also, I've been wearing stretchy shorts and so I didn't realize how tight my jeans were getting. Then I put them on. Gulp. Now, instead of feeling all, that's right, I see you checking me out, I'm all Hey, are you staring at my belly?? Mind your own chub!

It's a bit like this:

SO, I am considering trying to pay more attention to what I put in my mouth. Could I sound more wishy washy? Probably no.

I'm going to go back to what I should have been doing the whole time: counting my daily servings of fruit and veggies. This has always worked really well for me because if you're getting your full 6 servings of good stuff, there's not a lot of room for all that other crap. Additionally, I'm going to go back to 30 minutes of daily exercise, rather than trying to rely on exercise binges alone.

I realize this isn't very drastic, but once I start in and start feeling better about my self, rather than sluggish and crabby, I'll consider amping things up a bit. Any suggestions?

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Shallow Thoughts

Well, last week my in-laws were here. We had fun. We saw the view from on top of a mountain, we went out boating, we ate great food. I worked frantically most mornings, trying desperately to keep my head above the growing pile of to-do lists.

And now, R's vacation is over and I have a week to get as much done as I can before our friends start showing up for our big Labor Day Reunion. Which I'm really looking forward to when I'm not starting to panic because I HAVE SO MUCH TO DO!! AGGHHH!

Other social obligations are piling up and I really want to tell my next friend who says they miss me and want to chat that, no. I cannot chat. I have to much too do and I'm really not that interesting anyway. Please go away.

Not the worst type of trouble, surely, but it's been a lot to balance. Between all this kick-ass fun and frantic working, the garden has been neglected, the yard needs tending, I have 50 billion things to prepare for our incoming guests, and the laundry. My god, the laundry! I swear it's breeding down there. Multiplying, gathering forces, and plotting to take over the whole house. I can just hear the war cry now, "Down with clean! Our time is nie!" *shudder*

I keep getting even more assignments from work, and someday, I SWEAR, I will learn to say no. That I am too busy. But that time is apparently not now.

So back to it. Work, work, work.

P.S. Writing this post prompted me to take advantage of rare cool temperatures and tend to the garden and the yard (after 10 hours at my desk working). Thus, I can now rationalize my blogging. Blogging = motivation = getting shit done.

P.P.S. That last sentence is pretty much bullpucky. Don't hold me to it.

Friday, August 10, 2012

Adventures in Adventuring

Hello, hello. So much has been happening, like this
Zip lining!
and this
and some of this
Not to mention, this
Being frightened beyond all reason!
That's right. That's a moose standing on a bike path. In case you are unfamiliar with animals of the moosey variety, moose are fricken scary. As in, oh I just shat in my pants scary! If you do not live in the part of the world inhabited by moose, you might think bear are scary, or mountain lions are scary, or even wolves are scary. But the truth is, predators avoid people. You hardly see them because they run away. You know what this moose did when we came to a screeching halt on our bikes and discussed the impossibility of continuing because of said moose? The moose started marching toward us, prepared to trample us into little pieces because he had decided that the bike path, and the narrow strip of land to either side of it, and probably the water on either side of that, belonged to him. And if you don't like it, fuck you, I'm a moose. You simply can't argue with that kind of logic.

Let me set the stage for you. R and I had just completed 11 miles on this beautiful bike path that wound over and around lakes that sat between thickly treed mountains. We turned back and were racing (literally) back when I noted that someone seemed to be standing next to the bike path. At least that's what I first thought, until I realized it was a moose, partially obscured by the foliage, eating on the small trees that lined the path. The bike path is a converted railroad, and this section spans a small lake, so there was water to either side of this thick vegetation and no way around*. We came to a screeching halt and while we discussed how long we might be waiting for the moose to leave, I snapped a couple pictures (from a goodly distance away). 

*Not that I would try to ride around a moose through vegetation. But it made the whole situation that much more frustrating.

About that time, an older gentleman who was obviously not from "around here" and seemed to think of moose as large deer, as in timid and not shat your pants scary, came along. He stopped and was confused by our refusal to "ride real fast" past the moose. Now, let me note that moose can outdistance wolves, and are known to get up to 35 miles an hour. Which is super impressive when you take into account that they can weigh over 1500 pounds. Also, they use their long legs for more than running; they are known to literally split skulls with their hooves, which are roughly the size of my face. 

We tried to explain to this gentleman about the scariness of moose. He was not getting it, even though he told us that his friends had been chased on this same bike path by a moose just the day before. The fuck?

Another couple rode up, saw the moose, came to a screeching stop, and reiterated our serious doubts about trying to ride past the moose. I think that having another two people show up and say that, yes, moose were scary, is all that saved this man's life. I'm glad, because I'm not that interested in seeing someone get trampled to death. And I had no intention of stepping in if that started to happen. 

Over the course of these 5 minutes, the moose had been watching us watch it, and decide that we were clearly not taking him seriously. So he started walking toward us. R and I quickly hopped on our bikes and rode a ways away in a you-are-so-right-this-bike-path-is-all-yours kinda way. The other couple followed suit, and then the older gentleman grudgingly came along after it was clear that the moose was serious and still coming toward him.

So we waited. Older gentleman advised that we try scaring the moose. I tried to explain that moose do not run away when scared, they charge. He suggested that we all ride together toward it really fast making noise. I suggested he fuck off (on this inside, on the outside I laughed nervously and again told him that there was no way I was riding toward a territorial moose, thank you very much).

Eventually the moose felt like he had made his point and left. No one was killed and though no one learned an important lesson about messing with moose, I have to say it was way more scary than going down a zip line at 60 miles an hour.

Thus ends the tale of the time I almost saw an idiot get trampled by a moose.

Friday, August 3, 2012

Some of the Things

Well, I've been busy (who hasn't? I know, but seriously, the busy, I has it!).

Since I've wrote last we hiked 5 miles up a mountain, me with a 30 lb. pack and R with a 50 lb. pack. We camped at this gorgeous mountain lake, where snow still clung to the white granite, even though it was at least 80 degrees. We camped on a crest of rock between the lake and this immense, flat bluff of granite that provided a view of the surrounding mountains. The next morning, we broke camp and went fishing, which was more like staring down into the perfectly clear water and watching the little trout totally ignore the flies we tossed toward them. Fabulous. Here, look:

Then, of course, we had to hike back down the mountain. Thankfully, going down is a lot easier than up (way to go gravity!), because we  were pretty stiff that second day.

Then we met up with friends and went zip lining (pictures will be shown soon, I promise). Followed by boating, swimming, being pulled on the tube, and a failed attempt at knee boarding. Then we did it all again the next day - minus zip lining. And then back on the boat again a third day, followed by a bbq, many martinis, and some games.

It has truly been awesome. And also exhausting. And I'm pretty sore all over. Also tired. And did I mention that I did work on several of these days, in between all that fun and exercise? I did. And thus, the busy!

But I'm not complaining. I'm just psyched for the adventures and good times. I must be crazy, but that's okay because I'm lovin' it!