Monday, September 24, 2012

My Man Loves Babies

Hello again Internet.

First and foremost, I would like to humbly apologize for the lame-ity of my previous post. I'll stop there because if I start critiquing my other posts this will devolve into mumbled "I'm so sorrys" and "I guess it wasn't as funny as I thoughts" and soon I'm hiding under my desk crying.

That said, I'm still tired. I have fallen asleep 3 out of the past 4 afternoons. R is "secretly" sure it's a sign that all that bedroom friskiness paid off and I'm pregnant, but neither of us will actually come out and say that because it would be so damn disappointing if I wasn't. The fact that my boobs are throbbing orbs of stabby pain now makes my husband smile...because he SO wants a baby and not because he's into that whole sadism thing.

But rather than talk about the Possible Baby (Potential Baby has now being classified as Possible Baby!), or the varying levels of uncomfortable I'm carrying around in my bra, let's talk about R's fascination with babies.

My husband LOVES him some baby. When we are in public, I can tell immediately if he is looking at a baby from the big, sloppy grin that splits across his face. A grin that radiates love and oxytocin. My husband is the guy parents dream of sitting next to on a plane. He will not panic when he sees that your infant is going to be sitting right next to him; instead, he will beam! He will offer to hold your baby so you can  get your seat belt on or sip from the tiny cup of juice the stewardess is offering you. He will shrug when you try to apologize for your baby screaming loud enough to break eardrums and will simply say, "babies cry."

He teaches college and I'm pretty sure that the students who bring babies or toddlers to class get bonus points. Extra bonus points if they have to go to the bathroom and pop into my husband's office and ask him to watch their little one for a minute. I kid you not*. R will come home with that same dopey grin on his face and brag to me if he got to hold someones baby.

*Okay, I kid. My husband does not participate in fraudulent or unethical behavior just so he can hold/play with babies. That he admits to anyway.

This is not a new phenomenon. R has been baby-smitten since we got serious, umpteen million years ago. He's so over the top about babies that it was a running joke for me to push him away from them because they are contagious. This happened so often (because he naturally gravitates to them) that several of our friends were under the impression I never wanted kids, rather than, you know, not wanting them when I was in grad school and barely had time to eat food. Now that we are actually trying to have a baby of our own, my husband often comes up behind me and rubs my belly and tells me to give him a baby, or he sees a baby at a restaurant and croons, "Oh, I want a baby."

When I remind him that babies poop, cry, wake up early, don't sleep through the night, and projectile vomit, he just smiles wistfully. When I tell him that he's going to have to sooth cranky babies in the middle of the night (R is practically addicted to sleep), he just grins and tells me he wants a baby. If I ever had any doubts that I wanted to breed with this man, these reactions would have convinced me to toss away the birth control.

Seriously, could he be any more adorable?? I think yes. I think he's going to be head-over-heels for our baby, once we finally have one. And, in my humble opinion, he's going to make 'daddy' a sexy position!

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