Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Making a Baby: Week 27 and 28

I'm not going to apologize for cramming 2 weeks into a single post because I did it intentionally. I really didn't have enough to say about Week 27.

Week 27: Baby continues to grow as evinced by ginormous belly. Also, heartburn. The end.

Week 28: Baby is a movin' and a shakin'. Strangers not only ask me when I'm due but pull alarmed faces when they realize how much further I have to go. (Note to self: Eye lasers not yet effective in exploding strangers heads - need to work on that.) I suddenly feel very heavy and my belly bumps into everything. Also, heartburn.

You may not be able to tell from these pictures, but I am carrying all out in I am told by every woman who has ever had a baby. There's just no where else for him to go. On the bright side, most of my pregnancy weight is in my belly and bra, so not too much growth through the hips, ass, face, arms, etc. Notice I said too much and not no, that's an important distinction. My friend went on and on a few days ago about how you can't even tell I'm pregnant from behind. I'll take it. At this point, I'll take anything that remotely makes it sound like I'm not completely humongous.

On that note, I'm completely humongous. And I'm short. For the first time in my life, I am jealous of tall women with their lengthy torsos and places to tuck a baby away. I can simultaneously be pummeled in the bladder while having my lungs kicked. Also, the heartburn.

Pregnancy has made me realize so many things about myself. For instance, I am so small that I have to lean across the sink to reach a faucet. This is something I am now conscious of because my belly hits the counter and my fingers aren't quite able to touch the chrome handle unless I get on tiptoes and stretch. Also, apparently I used to hop up to grab things off shelves. You'll see I said used to. Now I call my husband and watch him grin as he hands me a cereal bowl. My pregnancy seems to be doing wonders for his masculine self-image.

But, all the complaints aside, we're getting there. I still enjoy feeling the baby move, and I'm getting very excited about his arrival. I'm organizing ALL THE THINGS, and working on the nursery in earnest. Now, without further delay, pictures of the a-MAZE-ing expanding belly:

Week 27
Week 28

P.S. You guys, there's an actual, for really real little tiny human in there!

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