Thursday, October 13, 2011

Feeling Blue

Okay, bear with me on this one. I am planning on dyeing my hair. Blue.

What the what?! Did you just roll your eyes?! I'm pretty sure you did.

I totally get it. Why would an adult dye their hair blue? In fact, you could very well stretch that line of reasoning out to why would anyone dye their hair blue?

Well, because. Because I work at home and no one from my work will ever see me and thus, my professionalism will remain intact. (Unless the blue dye does something to my brain and my ability to type emails. I guess that could happen. But I'll risk it.) Because I don't really know anyone in this new town yet and I'm mostly okay being judged by people I don't know. Because my hair is super short and will grow out in a few months. And the real reason: because I have never done anything outrageous like this before, I can now (see aforementioned becauses), and I want to do this before I have kids and am all grown up and stuff.

Also, I sprayed my hair blue once for Halloween, and wore a blue wig on another Halloween, and I actually looked really good with blue hair. And, my husband is salivating over this idea. Seriously, he won't stop mentioning it. I'm pretending not to notice.

Here's the plan:
1) BEFORE dying my hair, meet my future OB for an interview and pre-conception check up. I have already scheduled the appointment!  Squee!!
After spending a lot of time looking up the facts/bios/on-line ratings of the OBs my insurance will accept, and then talking to a couple girlfriends who reminded me that I'm not locked in for life if I don't like a particular doctor, I have (probably) chosen my OB. Of course, he will have to pass The Test. As in, "reassure me your not one of those knife wielding weirdos who wants to push the c-section/episiotomy envelope," and you know, that he listens and shit. I've researched his educational and work background but Idaho doesn't seem to track or make public surgical procedure rates by doctor. So I have to ask. Because I will be so seriously pissed off if I have to suffer through major surgery without a damn good reason!
Anywho, I don't want the OB's initial impression of me to be tainted by blue hair.
2) Order dye. Haha. I has tricked you, because I has already done this! (Yes, I researched this too and have found the exactly right dye...I hope.) It will actually be arriving next week. Too bad I couldn't get an earlier OB appointment, because I will now have to resist the dye for approximately 1 week. And my husband, who, I'm guessing, will have a harder time with this delay.
3) Drum roll please...dye hair. Holy shit. This is going to be scary!!
4) Stare into mirror obsessively.
5) Take a gazillion pictures and email them to my parents. I have already told them (Jokingly) that I might just do something crazy like dye my hair blue if I didn't have to worry about finding a job when we moved here. And, since I got to keep my job...well, 'nough said. I'm sure they are going to be so proud.

Here are the anticipated consequences: everyone is going to think I am a teenager, everyone already thinks I'm way younger than I am and this won't help get me served alcohol I am sure; deal with the 1,000 nasty things my mother will have to say about this; awkward encounters with the few people I do know here; SUPER awkward encounters with my conservative in-laws at Christmas. I think I can live with that.

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