Monday, November 14, 2011

Creative Obscurity

Shhh. It's a secret, but I'll tell you if you promise not to tell anyone.* My secret is that I am writing a novel. I know, right? I am surely the ONLY person you know who is working on that particular pet project (read this last line with dripping sarcasm for optimal effect).

*She says to the entire freakin' Internet.

But, it's true. I am. In fact, I have the first draft completed and am currently editing/revising. I'm also toying with the idea of finding an agent. Writing it down, right here and now, is about as close as I have gotten to working toward getting an agent. However, it's my blog and I say that counts. 10 points for me. Ahem, moving on.

Anyway, it's a Sci-Fi/Fantasy book and as I am editing, I am finding myself pleasantly surprised that it is not completely horrible and I am not embarrassed to be reading it. However, few people know about this hobby of mine because it's kind of personal. Not the story. Nothing about that is personal. But rather the creating is personal. It seems very similar to showing my drawings and paintings to people. It's very revealing. I always find that it makes me edgy. I want people to see what I've done, and possibly even enjoy it. But at the same time, it feels a bit sleazy - like stripping. Also, at least one in every three people feel the need to critique your work, to you. "You could have...," or "Did you think of doing..." And it never fails. These people and their critiques make me feel ashamed, while conjuring an almost knee-jerk need to punch them in their noses.

So, when I am all done and (hopefully) published, I may share this book with you, dear mysterious Internet reader. Or I might not. I might leave it to you to find it on your own. Because it's personal. And, it would totally make my anonymous blog un-anonymous. And that would be horrible. That would cause my neurosis to slosh all over everything. I would have to delete 95% of the things I have written here on general principle.

Do any of you people, creative geniuses that you are, have similar feelings toward sharing your work? Or is that just my neurosis again?

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