Making a Baby: Week 16

Well, well, well. Here we are, four months pregnant.

Let's do a little pregnancy symptom review, shall we? 

1. The sad. Duuude. I have cried more in the past two months than in the past two years, which, admittedly, isn't much, but I'm not a crier. I'm usually a cusser.

Two times the tears were related to crappy crap that was going on. Stuff that I would probably have gotten angry about pre-pregnancy; instead, I laid my pregnant self on my bed and blubbered.

The other two times were related to my changing appearance. Once because it was all just starting and I had this realization that things, they were about to get real in the biznatch. The second time because I was not so kindly pointing out my belly and R basically told me I would "have to get used to it." He didn't say it in an unkindly manner. And, I'm sure, to his mind it made perfect sense. After all,  I've seen pregnant women. I knew that I would be growing a whole baby in me and that meant belly. BUT, to my hormone addled mind it came out something like this: you are going to get huge and there is nothing you can do about it so stop complaining. My poor husband then rubbed my back in a daze because I was leaking tears trying, unsuccessfully, not to let out great big sobs.

2. The hungry. Basically, I need to eat twenty times a day just to live. My stomach will literally growl while I am eating. If anyone says anything about how I'm going to regret all this eating after the baby comes, I will smile politely, dunk them in chocolate, and devour their head.

(Besides, my doctor's scale confirmed that, as of yesterday, I've only gained 3 pounds.)

3. The aching. My boobs occasionally stab me from the inside. My sciatic nerve has made its presence known. My stomach muscles are being stretched and pulled. Round ligament pain. And you know that unpleasant feeling you get if you poke yourself in your belly button*? Yeah, I've had that feeling radiating up my whole torso for minutes at a time.

*I'm not sure if people with outies get that feeling. I'm guessing not. So let me try to describe it for you: a bit like having the nerve that runs between your belly button and your groin plucked gently by jumper cables.

4. The acne. After the initial bit of acne on my face, my complexion has cleared up nicely. All that acne has migrated to my shoulders and my back, as described via my recent conversation with R:

Me: I have pimples on my shoulders.

R: Yeah? 

Me: Isn't that where boys get pimples during puberty?

R: Yes it is.

Me: So...I'm getting adolescent boy zits?

R: It's not so bad.

Me: It wouldn't be so bad if I was 13 and had a penis.

5. The quickening. HaHa all over you pregnancy! Finally something that doesn't suck. Starting at the beginning of Week 15 I have occasionally felt the baby move! It's very, very, very faint and I can only feel it if I'm laying down and not moving BUT it's there.

This is how I described it to R:
You know when you are staring down into water and suddenly, out of the darkness, a string of bubbles rises to the surface? That's what it feels like, but its happening in my uterus instead of a lake.

6. The hair. All my hair is growing crazy fast. Some women might like this. However, my hair has always grown fast, and it's crazy thick, and now I have to cut my hair ALL THE TIME. Also, I'm kind of a freak about shaving my legs...unless I'm camping I shave every day. [Keep your comments to yourself. I admitted I'm a freak.] I'm starting to feel like shaving once a day isn't enough. But I'm totally not motivated enough to do it twice in one day so I just brood angrily whenever leg stubble rubs against my pants.

7. The growth. If you compare my belly pics across the weeks so far, you will notice that the belly is definitely present. You may also notice that my boobs are trying to take over my torso. I have to wear a bra all the time - including during sleep. This does symptom #4 no good. Also, take it easy boobs! We have 5 more months to go and at this rate you are going to suffocate me!

8. The libido. I've mentioned this before. The libido is like a body snatcher, trying to wrestle away control of my consciousness. My poor, tired husband.

9. The ennui  I'm one of those people who is always doing something: cooking, painting, drawing, reading, etc. Except now I'm like ehhh. What's up with that?

10. The preparing. The only thing I seem to be interested in is getting stuff for the baby (Etsy loves me). Or researching stuff for the baby (e.g., strollers, car seats, cribs, etc.).  That part makes sense.

Okay, and now to wrap up with a picture of my ballooning self from last week:

Week 15.

How I Eat Cereal

Often, I avoid having tasty cereal in the house (especially Honey Bunches of Oats, which I'm pretty sure they sprinkle with a secret addictive compound) because of this reason:

I pour cereal into a bowl and then pour milk over it. I eat the cereal and am left with a significant portion of milk in the bowl. I'll fix that, I think, as I pour in more cereal. But, apparently, I am horrible with estimations. 

NOW the cereal to milk ratio is all off. I need more milk. 

Once I am pleased with the cereal/milk proportions, I eat the cereal. But what is this? I have so much milk left in the bowl! This cannot stand!

Quick! Get the cereal!

Repeat until stomach is close to bursting or all the cereal has been consumed. Nom nom nom.

Making a Baby: Week 15

Hello fabulous people of the Internet. I bring tidings of Joy and Happiness and blah blah blah.

I've just spent the last few hours scrubbing toilets and doing laundry and writing out fifty bajillion holiday cards (okay, so there were 17 cards but it's more satisfying to write how many it felt like). I'm feeling cranky and bloated and my belly is bigger every day.

Back in the day (the day being before I was actually pregnant), I had delusions that I would be able to just wear my baggy clothes through pregnancy. HA! I'm not even half way along and my loose sweaters fail to hide my protruding belly. I am enormous. Bring me ice cream. Actually, make that chocolate covered cherries; surely there are still some out there somewhere that I haven't scarfed down.

Okay, I exaggerate. I only ate half the world's supply of chocolate covered cherries. I split them with Oprah.*

*I have no idea why I said Oprah. She just seems like the type to appreciate a good chocolate covered cherry.

Anyway, as promised, here is a picture of my growing belly from last week:

Week 14.

Not enormous, you say? Well, just wait until I post Week 15's picture. A lot can change in a week. And yes, I know that this is nothing. On occasion, I Google 'pregnant belly week 36' or 'week 38' and then I freak the fuck out. 

As for Week 15, pregnancy is rolling right along. I'm starting to get aches in my lower belly as true expansion sets in. I am looking into prenatal yoga and pregnancy classes. I am outgrowing most of my bras. You know, the usual.

The husband continues to be adorably excited. That definitely helps my mood (take note of that men!). This morning, I walked into the kitchen and was greeted with, "Look how pregnant my wife is!" Followed by belly rubbing and general giddiness. 

And on that high note, I am going to go downstairs and start wrapping some more presents.