First World Problems Follow Up

The ugly chair is being replaced by something that is (hopefully!) attractive. The furniture company did the unthinkable - unthinkable because they had specifically said they wouldn't do this - and took the chair back for a $50 restocking fee and allowed us to order the same chair in a different color for the same discounted price as the ugly chair!! That still makes it a good deal, even if we did get to learn a very important $50 lesson.

The lesson: ALWAYS take the fabric swatch outside and look at it natural light! 

Another important lesson: ALWAYS be nice to people, even when you are frustrated. Maybe I should say especially when you are frustrated. Nice people may get unexpected assistance, whereas no one wants to help an ass. I credit our mastery of this principle with the resolution of many of our problems. 

Finally, I am in a super good mood. I just finished a huge chunk of work, I got to have lunch with a friend, the ugly pink chair has faded away, my dogs are snoring softly at my feet, it is drizzling outside and the world is quiet, and I can feel my baby thumping softly in my belly. 

I sincerely hope that you are happy wherever you are.


Ugly Chair Update: The manufacturer has discontinued the fabric we chose. We have to go in tomorrow and pick yet another fabric color. First world problem squared! 

Sharing the Music in My Life

I came across this musician recently: http://lindseystirlingviolin.com/ Her name is Lindsey Stirling (if you couldn't tell from the website moniker), and I've really been enjoying her music.

She's a contemporary violinist that creates beautiful, upbeat dubstep. Her music reminds me of Infected Mushroom's (yes, that's a musical group not a worrisome yard fungus) Classical Mushroom album, which combines classical music with more standard electronica. Also, Bond, which is an electric string quartet.

Semi-informed musical genre speak aside, if you have any appreciation for classical music you should check her out. You can also find several of her music videos on YouTube, if you're into that sort of thing. 

This type of music is fantastic when I'm working. The lack of words eliminates most distraction, while the complexity of the music can keep my mood and work pace upbeat. Also, it just sounds cool.

Extra bonus: the baby seems to like it.* I swear, he starts moving around more with the swell, peaks and valleys of this type of music than to Indie rock or other however you classify The Black Keys/Mumford and Sons/Adele/etc. that's usually playing in the background at our house. 

*You didn't think I'd be able to complete a post without mentioning the baby, now did you?

Fa La La La LaAAHH!

It's that time of year again. Time to evaluate your life and be thankful for what you have. My life has been fairly easy - not born into wealth easy, mind you, but it could certainly have been worse.

My family had little money, but I did still have a family. It wasn't perfect and it wasn't always peaceful, but we had a house to live in and food to eat. We learned to ask for little and be happy with what we had. That was harder to do in my teen years, but then again what isn't harder during adolescence? Adolescence needs punched in the face, but I digress.

I made some very poor choices early on in my romantic life. I allowed myself to be treated badly and I internalized that treatment. BUT, and here's the fabulous part, I actually learned from my mistakes. I'm not bragging. It literally took years of repeat lessons before I caught on. However, I found a great guy who is kind, moral-minded, and honest. I married him and we've been living happily ever after.

I used some of my basic character flaws (specifically stubbornness and a jaw-dropping ability to get over things) to my advantage. I refused to give in and I kept going against a number of personal indignities and I got my PhD. My adviser, Dr. D., is a real piece of shit work. He does have his good points, they are just hard to find under all the conceit, narcissism, unanticipated temper tantrums, and creepy sexual soliloquies. But I soldiered on, reminding myself that I would gain the most satisfaction in succeeding despite him. It took years for me to let go of (most) resent and hostility that I feel toward that man. Yet I think I'm finally in a place where I could smile in his face rather than using my fist. Sometimes that feels better. Like that time I met my husband's ex, the one who had cheated on him and basically stomped on his heart, and rather than acting catty, I was SO nice. She was completely confused. My husband still laughs about it.*

*That's a tip kids. Confuse your enemies with kindness.

I would never consider myself to be wise, neither would anyone who knows me, but I have learned a lot. These are the important things:

• Some things cannot be changed. 
• Work hard to remember why the people you love in your life are special and treat them accordingly.
• Just because something is true does not mean it has to be said. If it is going to hurt someone, even if it feels justified, decide if you want to be responsible for that wound.
• Being the bigger person rarely feels good but it often means you can put the problem behind you.
• Find reasons to laugh. Often.
• Own up to your mistakes.
• Go outside.
• Share your good fortune with those who need it: your money, your time, your talents, etc.

There. I think I've drained all the holiday-Sunday-afternoon-TV-special right out of me. 

The Extroverted Hermit

I am an extrovert. I mean, wow, you put me in front of people and I schmooze and jabber and entertain until someone binds my jaws with duct tape. The more people, the better. According to the OCEAN test (one of the most commonly administered personality tests) I score in the 99th percentile on extroversion, meaning I take the gold in the motor mouth Olympics. Words people often  use to describe me include friendly, gregarious, and vivacious (it's true, I know a lot of people with big vocabularies).


So it may surprise you to know that I don't necessarily like people. I know, right? What kind of nonsense is this? And to take the absurdity up a notch, I'm a psychologist for science-sake! I literally study people.


Here's the rub. I like persons quite a lot. You, me, one-on-one and we'll laugh and memories will be made. I adore audiences. I mean, seriously, the adoration it goes on and on. Pay attention to meee. However, I often loathe people. And I don't need them very much.*

*With the notable exception of growing my food, building my shelter, and generally providing every single thing I own and use, of course.

Since I've started working at home, many of my friends and family have asked me how I'm coping, dealing with, or otherwise tolerating staying home all the time - you know, away from the attention of others that I so obviously love. Usually I remind them that R and I go out a lot. I talk on the phone with colleagues from work. Blah blah blah, deflection. What I don't say is that I kind of like it. The truth is that people, myself included, can be pretty aggravating.

You know what I mean. They block the entire aisle at the grocery store with their carts. They can't drive well...sometimes they cause accidents and destroy other people's vehicles. They litter. They make silly assumptions. Or they loudly proclaim that Newt Gingrich would make a good president (THE HORROR!). And I'm okay not dealing with that on a regular basis. I mean, even an extrovert can be okay with skipping the crappy behavior.

Or is it just me?

Oh Dingleballs!

As a young adult, I begged and begged for a dog. My parents are not 'animal people' and almost every animal we ever had was because of me and my aforementioned begging. So when I finally wore them down and got a dog, all responsibility for the animal fell to me (though he was only my dog when he needed something, otherwise his moniker was family dog).

The dog was a German Shepard Keeshond mix. Thus, he had lots and lots of crazy thick hair. Which is why he sometimes had dingleballs. For those of you not 'in the know,' a dingleball is a little ball of crap that hangs around, rather than falling to the ground as gravity intended. And guess who in my household got to deal with dingleballs?? Come on, guess.

Now, grown up (and the owner of sleek dogs with very short hair) I realize that I continue to be the groomer of dingleballs in my family. If shit goes wrong, I'm the one everyone calls.

A reason for blogging

I'll come clean. I read other people's blogs. Usually women. Usually women with children. If you've been following my silly blog at all (a.k.a. stalking, but I'll forgive you), you know I'm incapable of not researching important things. And reading all about mothers with infants/toddlers/children falls into the researching category because I plan to be a mother someday and must prepare; way in advance. And obsessively.

Ahem. Anyway.

Many blogs have an info section which details other locations where the author's writing has appeared. These bloggers have contributed to mommy blog sites, major news sites and even wrote books. So many women are awesome sauce!

I, too, have been published in other locations. If I told you my name, you could google it* and discover that I have published many, many things. If, in a fit of maniacal boredom, you actually tried to read one of these publications your eyes would cross and would slip instantly into a coma.

*There is only one other person in the country with my name. No joke. I've considered emailing her, but what would I say?

Most of my publications are in academic, peer reviewed-journals and are therefore boring. (The very words "peer-reviewed journal" are boring!) Which is too bad, because some of my research is on really interesting topics. BUT academia has created a wall of formatting, jargon, and post-hoc tests to ward off the most interested readers without advanced degrees. Why yes, that does severely limit the usefulness of the research. Thank you for asking.

Therefore, more people are likely to read this anonymous blog than my published work. Disregarding how hard it is to get something published in a peer-reviewed journal, this is depressing because I am an applied researcher and my work could make a real, positive impact. I guess I'll just have to be satisfied with making you smile. So smile, damn it!

Creative Obscurity

Shhh. It's a secret, but I'll tell you if you promise not to tell anyone.* My secret is that I am writing a novel. I know, right? I am surely the ONLY person you know who is working on that particular pet project (read this last line with dripping sarcasm for optimal effect).

*She says to the entire freakin' Internet.

But, it's true. I am. In fact, I have the first draft completed and am currently editing/revising. I'm also toying with the idea of finding an agent. Writing it down, right here and now, is about as close as I have gotten to working toward getting an agent. However, it's my blog and I say that counts. 10 points for me. Ahem, moving on.

Anyway, it's a Sci-Fi/Fantasy book and as I am editing, I am finding myself pleasantly surprised that it is not completely horrible and I am not embarrassed to be reading it. However, few people know about this hobby of mine because it's kind of personal. Not the story. Nothing about that is personal. But rather the creating is personal. It seems very similar to showing my drawings and paintings to people. It's very revealing. I always find that it makes me edgy. I want people to see what I've done, and possibly even enjoy it. But at the same time, it feels a bit sleazy - like stripping. Also, at least one in every three people feel the need to critique your work, to you. "You could have...," or "Did you think of doing..." And it never fails. These people and their critiques make me feel ashamed, while conjuring an almost knee-jerk need to punch them in their noses.

So, when I am all done and (hopefully) published, I may share this book with you, dear mysterious Internet reader. Or I might not. I might leave it to you to find it on your own. Because it's personal. And, it would totally make my anonymous blog un-anonymous. And that would be horrible. That would cause my neurosis to slosh all over everything. I would have to delete 95% of the things I have written here on general principle.

Do any of you people, creative geniuses that you are, have similar feelings toward sharing your work? Or is that just my neurosis again?

Random Things

I was "tagged" on Facebook forever ago. You know, one of those write 25 random things about you. Well, months later, I wrote up a list and since I don't have anything else to say, here it is:

1.     Due to my parents’ previous marriages and the spaced out nature of their cumulative children, I have been the youngest, an only child, the oldest, and the middle child. Take THAT birth order effects! (A brief explanation to keep you from either obsessing over how this is possible, calling me a liar, or both: my oldest sister lived with us until I was four, I lived alone with my parents until my brother was born when I was 7 1/2, I was the oldest until we all got old enough to be around each other again, which put me in my current position as middle child.)

2.     I had tons of freckles as a kid, and in my head I still ‘see’ myself as having them.

3.     I have a recessive genetic mutation that causes my molars to have an extra root.

4.     I prefer temperate mountains to tropical locations.

5.     I spend a lot of time memorizing visual details: shadows, colors, proportions, scenes, etc. for paintings I rarely get around to creating.

6.     Even numbers are superior to odd numbers, or so I believe. Note: visual compositions are the obvious exception to this rule.

7.     My eyes were dark brown my whole life. Now they are shifting to hazel and getting lighter all the time. Go figure.

8.     I have never locked my keys inside my house, car, office, etc. because I compulsively check that I have them with me before locking anything.

9.     I have never had a nosebleed.

10.   Drowning is the most common way that I have almost died, followed closely by bicycle accidents.

11.   In my humble opinion, documentaries are awesome!

12.   My husband and I speak to one another in a code composed primarily of South Park phrases.

13.   Four is my favorite number simply because that’s what I told someone the first time I was asked.

14.   I am rarely in my own dreams. When “I” am in them, “I” am usually someone else.

15.   When I was a kid, a lion sprayed me through the bars of his cage. Not cool, lion, not cool.

16.   I have never had a moving violation.

17.   I am not that kind of doctor or that kind of psychologist.

18.   My most annoying behaviors emerge in the classroom. I blame it on operant conditioning.

19.   My knowledge of pop culture might fill a thimble. Maybe.

20.   Aliens are real. I 100% believe this. Just look into the sky at night and consider the odds.

21.   My books are always organized by genre, theme, and author.

22.   Cutting off all my waist length my hair was the most liberating and scariest thing I’ve ever done.

23.   I am probably shorter than you. Again, consider the odds.

24.   I research lots of random things in my spare time. For example, I have extensive knowledge of most medium to large dog breeds.

25.   I last had cable television when I lived with my parents in high school - over 12 years ago.

So...I have a blog

I feel silly. I go back and forth: Am I writing for myself? Will anyone actually read this? What if they do read this? I still haven't figured out who "they" are. I'm guessing it's you.

Anyway, I decided it was appropriate to share some background info. Of course, that brings me back to all those questions above. To circumvent that problem, here are some facts about me, a la stream of conciousness.

I am short. I just made it to 5'0". Not exactly a claim to fame.

I have a Ph.D. in Experimental Social Psychology. No, not that kind of psychology. The kind where you do research and statistics (currently, I specialize in public health research and grant writing) and don't give a crap about anyone's mother.

I used to live in Northern Idaho. I now do again (yay for me!) after having lived in central Montana, a brief stint in Wyoming, and way too many years in southeastern Ohio.

I have been married for 8 years, and since I'm 30, that's a long time. My husband is amazing, but I try not to brag about him too much.

This is a time in my life where lots of transitions will be happening: we just sold our house in Ohio - sale is official in 4 days!, we will be buying a new house **fingers crossed**, we will be starting a family (Or we hope we will. And then all my family can stop with that "You're going to be so OLD when you finally have kids" thing that I've been hearing so much about). So, exciting times! So exciting that I just threw grammar and sentence structure straight out the window!

OK, enough self-disclosure for one day. [insert drammatic signing off gesture here]

Some General Info

AKA I can't believe I'm blogging.


We have recently managed to move to the exact location we've been dreaming of moving to for years. By we, I mean my husband and our two giant dogs, Karma and Odin.

My husband managed to beat out 79 people and land his dream job! (Yay! My husband is awesome!) I managed to keep my job and am now working from home. It's this last bit that has led to random, I can't believe I'm doing this, blogging.

I'm home a lot, and working a lot. But, there is the need for social outreach that Facebook alone cannot provide. Or, I just think I'm very clever and want a forum where I can blather on and on - even if it's only to myself. Kind of like a child's tea party, except on the internet instead of in my head.

Sooo...here goes. Momentous occasion and blah blah blah. Cheers!