The Promised Birthing Story

Ah, Internet, have you missed me? I know it's been forever a while since I posted something. Kind of a bait and switch maneuver, I know - I write and write about my pregnancy than have a baby and completely disappear. Ha ha, suckas! Just kidding. 

So, I had a baby. Let us talk a little bit about how that went.

In preparation for the birth, R and I attended Bradley Method classes, did perinial massage for 8 weeks, practiced positions, etc. etc. etc. for our natural birth. Then we waited. And waited. And waited some more. There were days filled with escalating contractions that just...stopped. So we waited more. Two weeks past the due date I agreed to be induced.

Here's how that went in a nutshell:

A little strip was inserted up near my cervix around 8pm Sunday night. By 7 am I was declared 'officially' in labor because I was having regular, strong contractions, even though I was only dilated to 2 1/2 cm and about 70% effaced. At that point I agreed to have my water broke*.

*SO gross and my least favorite thing. Even worse than the intravenous penicillin that I had to have because I was Group B Strep positive, and that crap hurts!

By noon my contractions were started to space out. I was dilated to 3 cm. I was still 70% effaced. I agreed to pitocin.

Fast forward through 12 more hours of contractions, roughly 2 min apart, with no pain meds. I was now dilated to 3 cm and was 80% effaced.

The baby had done wonderful. No distress whatsoever. BUT risks and no progress. And no pain meds. That part wasn't horrible until about hour 16 of labor. At that point, my reserves were waning and I was getting a bit discouraged.

So...cesarean.

It turns out that the little guy had turned around and was sunny side up (OP). He wasn't budging. That was why my contractions had stopped so many times in the previous week. My uterus was like, "Dude, this isn't working. I'm gonna take a break and try again later."

Here's how I feel about things:
1) I think the doctors were hung up on the OMG GIANT BABY verdict from the biophysical and weren't looking at other factors. Kinda pissed about that. Side Note: He was above average (7 lbs 13 oz and 21 inches long) but not unreasonably so.
2) The relaxation I learned in Bradley Method classes totally worked. I was disappointed that I was hooked up to machines, and that contributed to tiring because it limited my mobility some (though I was on a remote unit and was not confined to bed).
3) The little guy came out 100% awake and ready to eat because no pain meds. Definitely glad of that.
4) My recovery was super duper fast. I was only in the hospital for 36 hours afterwards and I was hiking 2 weeks out. Also, no tears and no incontinence (I've heard some nasty stories from my cohort!).
5) I live in a state that makes VBACs illegal (small government my sweet vagina!). That makes a c-section worse somehow, though I don't know if I want a VBAC.

So, that's that.

I have to go feed my ravenous offspring. I promise not to disappear for so long again...at least in the near future.**

** I have NO time to proof read. So judge gently.

You'll have to wait some more

So many posts to write, so little time. I promised to write about the birth, which was nothing like what I hoped it would be but that was okay because it gave me this amazing little person. I promised to write about breastfeeding, which was also nothing like I expected but has sustained my baby -hell, it's done more than that; he went from 7 lbs 13oz to 10 lbs in a month! I promised to write about cloth diapers, which has been easier than I expected and I have recommendations out the wazoo (spoiler, go buy these newborn fitteds, I can't recommend them enough https://www.etsy.com/transaction/102490049?ref=fb2_tnx_title). I want to tell you about how great my husband has been, how this baby has filled out our relationship. I want to tell you about my ever evolving body (down 26 lbs at one month and unable to fit in my clothes). I want to brag about my baby.

But right now I don't have time for any of that. I am currently typing one handed* while I hold a sleeping, snoring miracle...what an arm workout!

*Hark, my typing skillz are crazy impressive!


I am sorry to keep you waiting. Those of you who are wanting to hear these stories.
But not very sorry.
I'm pretty busy, and pretty happy about it.

Things I didn't know about labor and post-pregnancy

Breaking your water, rupturing membranes, whatever you want to call it, it's gross. I was under the assumption that your water broke, there was a gush of fluid, and that was that. But it doesn't stop there. It keeps coming because your body keeps making it. It's basically like getting to pee your pants over and over again. Like I said, gross.

A lot of people will reach up your vagina. Progress needs to be checked. Even if you are trying to keep exams to a minimum, a lot more fingers will be inside you than you'd probably realized. I would recommend doing perineum massage for that reason alone.

Time is meaningless. During labor, after labor, time loses its normal rhythm. It stretches and contracts in odd ways. The time we spent in the hospital after the baby was born seems like days, maybe even a week, but was only 36 hours.

Stretch marks. I thought that the stretch marks you had when you were pregnant were the total sum of stretch marks. I even thought some of those might disappear or shrink when the pregnancy swelling reduced. WRONG. SO very very wrong. The stretch marks you can see while pregnant are just the tip of the iceberg, and the rest of the iceberg is submerged in bloat. As you get smaller after the baby is born, and the water recedes, those jagged red icebergs are exposed. The small cluster of stretch marks I had on my upper thighs while pregnant have been befriended by the ring of stretch marks I now have all across my upper thigh and inside thigh and they now rise to meet the patch of stretch marks on my hips that have grown darker since the baby's arrival.
I'm not that upset that I have stretch marks. I've come to terms with it quite a while ago. But I feel like I was lied to. Like my body threw me a nasty surprise party - SURPRISE! We got you more stretch marks!

Joint pain. I thought that would end with the pregnancy, but what I failed to realize was that my joints were way more loose and out of whack than I thought. And as the relaxin reduces throughout your body, your joints ache as they slowly get pulled back in place. More than two weeks out and my shoes don't fit yet (yep, not all of that was swelling) and I still can't wear my wedding ring.

Breastfeeding. Where do I begin? I think I'll do a whole post on my personal experience, which hasn't been horrible, but did present some surprising little gifts of its own. Anyway, some general things I didn't know beforehand about breastfeeding*:
1) it is messy! You drip, leak, and gush, and that's not even counting what the baby is doing. Get out of the shower and you may leak. Bend down and you might notice a puddle below you. Adjust your bra and BAM! wet spot. I took a nap and woke up in the middle of a small lake because I had soaked through not one but two breast pads, my bra, my shirt, my comforter, my blanket, and my sheets. Good times.
2) you need a specialized wardrobe. I knew that. Rather, I thought I knew that, but I totally underestimated, well, everything. I have the right bras in the right quantity, but my newly ballooned balloons don't even fit into most of my clothes. The clothes they do fit into usually restricts access, which is very important these days. So, baby = yet another wardrobe.
3) a complete loss of modesty. While in the hospital, approximately 20 people saw my swollen, stretch marked boobs. And I totally didn't care. At least 3 women I do not know touched my breast(s) to help me adjust my latch, and it was more like getting help moving furniture than a 'bad touch.' And when the photographer came to our home for the newborn photo session, I started nursing - and I'm not yet a pro so much boob was flashed - right in front of her without a second thought. Only afterwords did I think to ask R if I should have been more discreet (for the record, he said she was probably used to it).

*Note: I knew a lot about breastfeeding. I've done research for WIC on ways to increase breastfeeding in certain populations, I've attended lactation classes, I've watched many of my friends and relatives breastfeed, and this was stuff NObody thought to mention.

Taking the baby out. We started taking our baby out fairly early. It's June, the weather is nice, it isn't cold or flu season, and I don't let strangers touch him, so that's totally okay. Seriously, our pediatrician says so. But not everyone agrees. Some people are fascinated to see him, some think  its totally normal, and then there are people who give you death stares because he's too new to be outside. One lady even told me that she waited 6 weeks before leaving the house with her baby.

I'm sure there are other things I'm forgetting, but I need to go and see about that breastfeeding thing again.